Sun Jul 31 22:45:22 CEST 2005

New recipe


Recipe name: 
Cleaning the Kitchen on an early Sunday morning


  1. On the previous evening:
    • Eat a nice dinner and do most (but not all the dishes). Convince yourself (falsely) that you will do the rest of the dishes later on.
    • After having put the children to sleep, spend five hours trying to get ivtv (http://ivtv.sourceforge.net) to work. If possible try different kernels, versions of ivtv and remember to occasionally swear that you will trash Linux and run a shrink-wrapped operating system instead.
    • Have a late night snack, and do not clean up the mess.
    • Go to sleep disheveled and tired.
  2. In the early morning:
    • Arrange it so that one, if possible two of the children wake up very early (The earlier the better).
  1. When one or more of the children wake up, get up drunkenly from the bed and zombie over to the kitchen. If possible, the experienced cook will manage to wander to the kitchen without even waking up. This would be the most desirable state. If the avid reader cannot manage this state, it is enough to be awake, but completely zonked out.
  2. On auto-pilot, fill the bottle with 3dl of water. To remain in a half-stupor, make sure that you do not get any cold water on your hands, as this will increase the risk of waking up ahead of time.
  3. Add 90ml of vällingpulver into the bottle.
  4. Important!
    This next step is essential for the successful completion of this recipe.
    At this point, the bottle should be on the kitchen sink, placed in the midst of the dirty dishes and the bag of vällingpulver. Pick up the lid to the bottle with your right hand. Quickly, steer the hand with the lid in it towards the bottle. This should be done with precision! The hand should hit the bottle smack in the middle of its torso. If lucky, the bottle will then start a chain-reaction, hitting cups half-filled with coffee, etc. The bottle itself, still in an unmixed state, will gracefully spread its contents over the entire kitchen wall, floor, working-area, and dishes.
  5. At this point you will be truly rewarded if you have managed to stay asleep until now. You will wake up suddenly and with a shock realize that you have a half an hour of work ahead of you. (For those of you with a dish-washer- make sure that you have forgotten to start the machine the last time you filled it, so that you can maximize this moment).
What a wonderful way of waking up! --